Hey look, I’ve always said I’m not good at small talk! I like to get straight to the point.

Do you know what you need? And do you know if you’re getting your needs met?

If we don’t have a clear idea of our needs and how to get them met, we can end up over-relying on others to meet them for us OR having emotional explosions like we talked about last week.
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For my readers who’ve raised young children, imagine expecting your toddler to be fuss-free whilst they’re hungry, tired and have a full nappy! Never going to happen, right?

So then, why do we expect ourselves to be fine when we’re walking around with all these gaping unmet needs?

Adults still have needs!

Plenty of them. Having jobs, children and other responsibilities doesn’t make those needs all disappear. So, let’s learn to identify what they are and how we can start giving them a little bit of attention too, saving ourselves from impeding burnout or emotional explosions.

Psychology fans will probably recognise this diagram; Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It shows us an outline of our needs ranging from fundamental basic survival needs at the bottom to self-actualization needs at the top.

The problem with this being at the top is that it becomes a bit of an afterthought for many people when really it is crucial to our wellbeing.

The fact is, if we have unmet needs, it’s pretty hard to feel safe, content and fulfilled in the lives we’re living.

I encourage everyone to look at this diagram and consider if any areas are lacking for you and if so, how can you pay more attention to those areas? How can you learn to meet your needs?

Coaching and therapy play a huge role in helping us strengthen these areas and move towards self-actualization. It’s something we’re all capable of, but many of us don’t experience.

Spend some moments on this if you can and as always, send me a message if you want to talk.

-Nicola x